Dr Soroush’s Take:
Have you had those moments when your wish list never ends? No matter what we want to achieve in life, we need to accept the “jump”…
No matter what age you are, you feel like a kid when someone asks “If time and money weren’t an issue, what would you do and be?” Someone asked me that question yesterday and my mind just wandered. I was like a kid in a candy store! “I wanna do this, I wanna do that, I wanna travel, I wanna see the world, I wanna play music, I wanna help people, and provide treatments to anyone who can benefit from them…” the list keeps on going!
I often ask my daughters the same question and, just like their daddy, they are all over the joint!
One second they want to be a vet and help animals, one second they want to adopt homeless dogs and create a dog shelter, then they want to be a chiro (He He! Daddy’s brainwashing works at times!) and then another second they want to be an artist, play music or perform on the stage…
(Don’t get me started on Guinea Pig farm idea!! I killed that at inception!!
– ” but daddy, they are sooooo cute”!!!
– But daddy…..
– I said No…!
and the saga continues….!)
I continue my conversation with my patient John (please see previous blog)… He keeps going and tells me about all his dreams… then suddenly he asks me this question that takes me by surprise….
– ” Soroush, you know me well, right?”
– “yeah I would say so…”
– ” Do you think I can get there?…”
I see that child inside all of us when we face such intersection. I have been there and AM THERE almost every day when I need to make decisions in my life. That fear, that insecurity, that doubt kicks in… and we all feel that, right?
Fear of failure, fear of rejection… And here is my answer: I look him in the eyes and tell him “JUMP…”!!
He looks at me rather surprised. I can see what he is thinking…”Man, he has lost his mind! What the heck is he talking about!!?”
I ignore that look and continue: “You see John, no matter what we want to achieve in life, we need to accept the jump. There is always a “jump”….” I see his face slightly changing and warming to the idea of where I am going with this. I start to feel encouraged (yes, I too need that self assurance to help with MY insecurity!!) I keep explaining my theory of life, challenges and self growth and he feels better about it all.
So let me explain how I see it: at every decision point in your life, you are at the edge of a cliff. Sometimes the drop is only a metre and sometimes the drop can be thousands of metres. Sometimes the fall is no biggie! Sometimes it scares the hell out of you! At times, you may make a decision knowing that if you fail or get rejected, it is no biggie. But at times, God, it’s scary….!
I speak John’s lingo. “You see John, when you see that gorgeous girl and all you want to do is to talk to her, you need to make that “jump”. When you take that job, you take a “jump”; when you make that investment, you take a “jump”; you know where I am going with this. The fear is not the jump, right? The fear is the fall. But what if we changed our mind about the fall? What if we took calculated jumps and ensured that we envisage our air bags if we fall? Sounds simple, but it’s hard to do. It’s easy to write about it, it is even easier to talk about it, however, doing it takes guts. But you know what my friend? That is the truth…like or not.”
He nods his head in agreement. Just before he is about to leave my room, I continue: “John, I know you feel like you have it all figured out mate but let me tell you two things before you go. If you want to remember anything from this conversation, please remember this: firstly, you know how I told you about having your air bags ready for your falls? Well let me tell you, there is NO air bag when you are dealing with “emotional jumps”. If you fall in love, mate you fall in love. Don’t hold back and don’t think it over with having an “air bag”. You need to take that risk. The second thing I need to tell you, is that if you have never fallen, you have not tried enough. You haven’t taken the risks and you haven’t experienced enough. You haven’t loved someone and you haven’t given it your all.”
I look at John’s face and he smiles; he gives me a hug and tells me he will see me the following week.